It’s been a while, has it not?
I think the last time I was on there was a long, angsty post about He Who Should Not Be Named. I’m not talking about Voldemort, for the Potterheads out there, but more the exboyfriend who has plagued my thoughts for a while now.
And good Lord above, this storm is making it worse.
Hurricane Sandy has hit the East Coast, and well I couldn’t be happier about the loss of school, there is not much to do during a hurricane but sit inside, confounded by your thoughts.
And they’re all of him. It’s infectious, closely resembling a rash.
On another note, my girl Taylor has come out with a new album, actually a while ago… But after waking up at one AM and listening to the whole thing, the entire album and its meaning are just hitting me now.
“Losing him was blue like I’ve never know, missing him was dark grey all alone… But loving him was red,”
“I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away,”
“This hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous,”
“I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now,”
“No apologies, he’ll never see you cry, pretend he doesn’t know that he’s the reason why,”
“And the saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me, or her, or anyone, or anything,”
“And I know it’s long gone, and the magic’s not here no more, and I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all,”
“You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me,”
“I forget about you long enough, to forget why I needed to,”
“And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much… But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up,”
“I’d like to be my old myself again, but I’m still trying to find it,”
“I bet you think I either moved on or hate you, cause each time you reach out there’s no reply… I bet it never, ever occurred to you that I can’t say hello to you and risk another goodbye,”
“And I hope sometimes you wonder about me,”
It’s almost exhausting, trying to stop thinking about him, because that end was so sudden, so abrupt, that I don’t think it ever registered in my mind, and all I’m left with is the happy stuff. I don’t know if its better this way, or what… I have no sphere of reference for this kind of thing.
In other news, new One Direction song anyone? Little Things is perfect… But like stabbing the knife in deeper, almost.
I read a couple days ago that this couple was celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary, and the husband was talking about his wife, and he said that she was everything good in this world, and deserves the same thing back.
I want to be someone’s everything good in this world.
Well, if anyone was able to decipher this mess of a post, I wish you happier times then I’m having.